Images of conflicted decisions

How can I make you coffee if you live so dam far away

Admires at a distants

Finding that person to connect with is probably one of the biggest things we search for in life.
So what happens when it happens but the timing doesn't match up.
Circumstances are different and difficult,  and it prevents things from ever getting the chance to live.
How can it evolve, how can it develop into anything...

You'll never forget them, nor will they ever bare a heavy burden..

How can it move forward when it hasn't been given the opportunity to really start.
No chance given, non taken. Just living off the memories, thinking

               -If I got on my knees and I pleaded with you
                                                      X.

Decisions

You travel and come back to the world you thought you would leave behind for good.
But you come back only to find that nothings changed, but you have.
The people you left, still the same, the home you laid in, still the same, the boy, still the same.
The world around you has made no change.
So what now?

You try and reconnect with these people in a totally different and expanded mindset, but nothing seems to make sense to them. Conversations seem dull, and nothing interests you anymore. No one's teaching you anything new, or challenging you to be better.
How can I grow but not turn away from those that I care about? 

Do I run off and travel again to grow further apart from them, or do I simply accept the fact that I have outgrown the conditions that my people are happy to settle for.

#Tellmethetruthamilosingyouforgood

I've come in contact with life changing experiences, that no one can understand but the people that have been there to witness it with me.
You try to explain why, how, when, what. But all you get back is "I don't get you"... This may be the time when I reflect and tell myself that this is just not my world anymore, and that everywhere else is.

No longer part of the social society that I used to call my home, my background.
But now, all the challenges that were so hard to bare, I have now grown to embrace them and now entwine them into my overwhelming new reality.

     "Your heart will always take the lead for the path of your true desires"

                                               -  Mimi 2014

What is what

Going through life transitions is a continuous occurrence in our lives. I'd like to think that when you reach these certain points in life, the people in your life that you have been growing with in all types of relationships, will be the people you could rely on most. To support you, encourage you and tolerate the new mindset/transitioning mindset that your now enduring.

But when that isn't the case, the easiest thing is to just cut them off right?

For me I've gone travelling, came back and now have had to pretty much start my life over, as I'm on a new career path and my goals have slightly altered.
Needing people to understand your emotions during this change, and how this effects your life completely is the most important thing in life to me right now, especially if you want to continue being in my life.

As much as I'm venting and not coming to a conclusion, its simply because I don't really have one.
This I call stage two. Of growing up, of becoming a woman and coming into my own. I don't think I can end this on a final note but a note of to be continued.  As that is just how it is right now.
Right now I know certain things and certain people are not permenant, which is probably one of the haunting aspect of this change.
I can't make people understand me, and I can't make them understand my pain and why certain things bother me the way they do (no matter how hard you try to explain to them) when it seems so simple for them to figure out. But I need to find a resolution .
There's one person I don't want to let go of, at least I think I don't. And there's one person I want to pursue more and have more of in my life. How to go through this is as puzzling as this whole entry.

To me I just sound confused, I know what type of result I want, but not knowing in other areas is what's changing the whole ball game.

My letter of a confused and transitioning woman.

LOOKS I'M LOVING THIS MONTH

From my fav Instagram pics

 

2013

 

This year has brought me so many great memories and has been the year that has changed my life the most dramatically, moving, new jobs, blossoming love life I just cant ask for me. So as the saying goes, a picture speaks a million words

 

 

Me my sis having a curly moment

M&M Sisters

 



 

Rare but positive picture me and the big sis made it through all our troubles 

 

Hair at its best stage before the heat damage :(

The sight I love the most... from the airport... Miami



Miami Boat Party

 

 



 

Shhhh sneaky drink

 

 

 Three words ... It's all good

 

 

Moments

 

 

Buddha Lovin

 

 

First Red Bottoms

 

 

My baddest BC

 

 

Me ad my Oz

 

 

Mimi & Mimmo

 

 

Me & the bestie

 

 

My crazy Frenchie

 

 

The Bestest Friend a girl could ever have